tmpham

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Past come to play

As your mind wonders and explores the past. Seeing the failure and the treatment of others your mood change. You are stuck in the past like a zombie your body is in the present but your mind are distances away.

These moment are real and happen frequently in each of our lives. There may be trigger of some kind that instigate these thoughts. As we observer see this in ourselves and become more aware of our thoughts, interjection can be made. Like everything in life there are both side to all things. A person can considered themselves a victim and same goes the other party.

It is important to interject opposing thoughts or neural thoughts to break this chain of down spiral ideas we are growing in our head. e.g. many of us have made a mistake in the past some bigger than others. As we when negative thoughts flow and drag your world down remember and interject that the greatest mind like Einstein can get it wrong too. Interject thought like every failure comes success. We learn from failure it a major part of our lives that allow us to grow. Or if you can not think of anything change the topic. Think of other thoughts, lighter happier thoughts.

The hardest thing that many find hard to move forward is others wrongdoing towards you. Thoughts of hatred and cursing start to flow within you towards that party. But what I can say about this is we are not in that person shoe, live and experience their anger and frustration or even disappointment. With the personality that they have, we too will do the same thing. There are no classes on how to think better, to tackle a certain problem. If we are lucky, we meet the right people who teach us a certain way of think or way of life. But if we are from a broken parent, we are taught a broken way. We too will be more likely broken in thought.

I believe part of life is to learn and contribute to this world, that is either to give lessons or learn lessons. Whatever it is understood that you are learning from their action and they are our teacher. They are teaching us if not anything what not to do. In time they will learn their lesson in their own time and place.

When these negative thoughts come to play try to sooth it, dissolve it or reach out to others thoughts. If we have no hatred, hatred cannot harm us. But when compassion and love come in, the world is so much brighter and more beautiful. Like a person in love, the negativity will not bother us or gain attention. It rolls over us like nothing ever happen. Life continues to blossom with its perfume.

What past is it again? No past, nothing but the present and future. Bring the good with you and leave the bad behind. Awareness is key. Guide your thoughts know that the picture you see can be changed because your view is too narrow. Once open and interjected with other ideas. Once was bothersome are now neutral and free from negativity and self-torment.

I love my freedom…Negativity for me is heavy and binding… I don’t want that extra weight. I want to be light to fly in my joyous state. How about you?

Beginning and ending

In life, there come to a point where beginning and end come side by side. What you choose to focus on will determine your state. The word “Begin” and “end,” has is a certain tone or feeling that associate with each word. They go hand in hand with each other. We live in a world where meaning and feeling is associated with each word. How word single or collective can arise emotion. The world beginning seems more exciting, new, adventurous and fresh. While the word ending sounds like a loss, no more, closure and finish. How we think is essential in all circumstances. It makes a great person from an average person. Like the word beginning and ending, both can be used to convey a story of tragedy sadness or hope and new. It really depends on how it feels to you. Choose what feel better.

When an event happens, like an ending of a relationship, the world can be dark if the word “ending” circles your mind. The can’t, sense of loss, hopelessness comes to play. But in that same situation, yes, it ended but it also a beginning. The word “beginning,” open the feeling of hope and doors to adventure, new or fresh. When you are at a loss with the end, your mind swirls with the loss but when you know that every ending comes a new beginning and focus on beginning, life change for you, hope excitement guide you and darkness become brightness.

If the word ending does not suit you as it doesn’t to me, I like the word evolving. Instead of saying the relationship has ended I would say the relationship has evolved to another level of friendship. Relationships are hard, we do silly things at that time but understand that with any evolve relationship you have learned something. What you want and don’t want or there has been some growth within you or them as a person. Nothing is bad or good it just is. For at that moment in time you were not matching each other. So celebrate your lesson and know there is someone better is there, a new relationship is on the agenda, a new beginning for you.
Like I believe with every circumstance, your choice your view, the past of what you lose or the future of what you can have — coming back to the words end or beginning. Choose your state, is choosing your path.

freedom?

There is no manual to life is there? We enter this world with no conscious knowledge of how to live life. Society and religion have done it partly in guiding us by setting rule and regulation; like a mother protecting it children from one another. We were taught to keep in line with the rest of the herd, follow the flock. Through these rule and regulation, we have given up our choices. I am not saying that it is right or wrong to have these rules and regulations. Many make real sense.

The studies of gravities have its law, what goes up must come down. This gravitational law is set on stone that we have to be on the ground and right; everything else is wrong or unnatural. I question what is natural sometimes. We see everything around us, see its’ pattern and that is natural or right. Set the rule unconsciously in our mind. But is it? In a community where everyone wears black for example if someone wears colours that are unnatural and suddenly some kind of rejection start to happen. We see this in all communities and culture when someone starts doing something different. But through these people who do not fear changes and how to see outside of the limited rule base mind new ideas and norm start to change. The power of judgement and self-evaluation is important in here. I don’t blame those who are rejecting change who want to stick with what they know. It a safety thing for them. We cling on to safety or what is the norm to us as the individual. It was we were taught. We don’t know better then what is taught.

Allow yourself the freedom to explore and grow. Nothing in this world stand still nothing. Your mind needs to grow too. Through growth come blossoming of yourself and your world. Know these rules and regulation but allow yourself to think outside the box, outside from this limitation because who knows maybe one day we can fly without technology but how to bend the rule of this so call gravity. Nothing is impossible only our mind and our heart set limit on ourselves. Think for yourself know what is set but make a judgement for yourself. Freedom is in you, not others. Free your mind, free your thought. We rely on that for our innovation.

Self-Love

Is loving yourself selfish? Is self-love overrated? Love is an amazing thing that everyone seeks. Some can say they have found true love others are still searching. But the secret is self-love is your true love. Who understands you more than you? In many cases, the only thing that is missing is your love for yourself.

The Beginning

It all starts with our parents. As amazing as they are. As we grow up their opinion and command are not as strong as it uses to be. Questions raise within us. The image of that amazing being is not so much anymore. There is something so fragile about them that make them human. Growing up question my parent and the life I am living I ponder a lot.

We catch ourselves taking on small habits of our previous generation. The same circle is playing itself again. It can be anything like enjoying certain food as they do. Maybe having the same temperament or thought as they do.

Incorporate the norm

It is natural that we incorporate habits and taste and even thinking like either one of our parent or both. Looking through my history, I see why my parent turns out the way they do and why I am the way I am. As a wondering child, questions of human nature has pondered me in many ways as a human in the current environment or traditional environment. We unconsciously embrace focus of our weakness. Strength was good, but it did not play more important then weakness. We remember people weakness in action more then we recall strength in action. We celebrate the act of cruelty posted through news, and social media, while kindness and goodwill are not remembered or celebrated as much. I am the pinnacle of this society. Yes, I have good memories but for some reasons, those harmful bad moments have a slightly stronger connection within me. We can talk on and on, on topics where people have done me wrong. Amazing people who are heroes in their way does not get the same level of attention.

I question society mould and hold on us. Yes, we have gone far but the fundamental of being a human or dealing with oneself, our relationship. We as a community or society or a family unit has missed something by exploring my world and connecting with other people world. I see within myself and other one fundamental issue.

Relationship within yourself

The relationship with ourselves is not important. Well, seem to take a back seat to everything else in life. It’s not anyone fault; there is no one to blame as we are taught from generations self-bashing or self-sacrificing people. Mentally we are unkind to ourselves. What we are thinking and saying to ourselves made us down. These skills have been taught down from generation after generation of miserable people. The skills of seeing the worst in people and especially ourselves have been pass down from generations after generations. I remember the focus was on what you cannot do and they were to cool for little achievement. The idea that woman can do certain jobs this old way of thinking was pass upon me. All these negativities and restriction unconsciously passed down.

You can’t do this; you can’t do that. Why do you do this? What wrong with you. And the classic look at that person son or daughter look what they are doing… see how good they are… The constant comparison between you and another was degrading. It feels like we are living for others. Trying to please them to make them happy and our happiness is left aside.

The strange and funny thing is we volunteer to do this. Put ourselves aside for others happiness. It was our choice, but we did it happily in most cases. Looking back, I do not regret a thing, not all these experiences. This is because it makes me who I am today and sees where I have gone wrong. It teaches me to think, to be a better me. The one things it gave me was a love for people and myself.

Why not let love lead us?

This fundamental understanding of our current situation leads me to think that self-love is not overrated. Self-Love is an amazing healer through my exposure to pain and unhappiness. I see why being easy on oneself can give to you. Why beat yourself up for not doing well. Why pay that drowning tune over and over in your head? what does that do? Nothing but make you a victim of yourself. Yes, you made that mistake woohoo, now you know what to look for. Yes, you something terrible whatever that could be. You learn from it and so what. You have learnt that great lesson, and it is time to move on and ask what is next? That is the question you should ask. I can say I have not done many terrible things in my life, but I did have a lot of unhappy incidents in my life that brings me down. With a drunk father, life was never dull. My early adult life was also interesting too. My life was colourful. I had a lot of lessons, so does many people. I know because our problem is so much bigger and worse than anyone else. We get it. I have a choice in my reaction to any incident.

Realisation

I understand now; it was all me. The love I was looking for through my parent was not exactly how I wanted for me. The love I look upon others was too much to ask for them. I know it was me who needed to love me. The love I was looking for was within me all along. My true unconditional love was me. Train yourself to love and understanding for yourself. We can give it to others but not ourselves. That sound wrong to me.

I look at most situations this way, at that moment in the state of mind you are in, that the best solution or action you can come up with. Whatever the result at that time that was best for you. You know now what you would do better in the next similar situation. Try to move on think of what makes you happy, put on some music or go on a walk.

You are always in a relationship with yourself; it is an inescapable relationship. You are the only person that understand yourself and have everything in common with you. It a match made from heaven. I only see one option. If I have been with myself forever why not make it work and be your own best friend. Start creating a beautiful, loving relationship with yourself. Be forgiving and caring. This is because when you are happy in love, the world is so much sweeter, full of joy, laughter. Who doesn’t want this? I know I do.

No spare part

I ponder a lot of this world we are living in. Something just stands out to me. I have heard this phrase ‘there is no spare part in this world.’

no spare part

Watching the movie “Hugo” this phase come back to me but with an extra explanation. The phase ‘Machine has no spare part. if I look at the world as a machine I can not be a spare part.’ I am paraphrasing it but that is basically the juice of the sentences. This sentences or phrase is so powerful to me. There is something so amazingly positive and loving about this phrase. No, we are not a mistake, not an extra part that is not needed. we are all needed to make this world perfect. We are perfect the way we are. Yes, we struggle and being through a few tough time but all those are needed for us to accomplish our greater purpose. We all have to play the villain at some stage and a hero at another stage all to knock each other into our purpose when we are out of sink with the world.

You are supposed to be here. We all need you no matter what background or colour, race you are in. We all need you. The world needs you.

Woww this is a powerful message.

Introduction

When sitting down here talking about myself and who I am. I ponder a little. Who am I and what make me, me? I wonder…

Well, let start with my passion. I love people. I love to understand how people work, people reaction and why we do what we do. I am not trained in this area nor am I an expert but this is one of the things that I love to do. I recall watching people on the corridor in high school on a rainy day, listening on people conversation, I wonder and question people conversation. Secondly, I love beauty. I love anything to do with it, fashion makeup and skin care, anything that made me healthy inside and outside. I am not sure why I love this maybe it has to do with my mum constantly looking after my health as a sickly child. Thirdly I love music and dancing. I not a professional dancer but I love to put music in my room and dance around. I love learning how to dance. I not sure if I would want to have that life but for me, its’ help me to relax and change my state and give me some positive attitude. And finally, I love to create things. I love to make things, clothes, painting, and drawing. It another form of expressing myself. I believe I use to be pretty good at art in school.

Beside this fact, I use to be shy and quiet at school. I am still in some way kind of shy but more in tune to what I am and who I am more than ever. I can say I am comfortable with myself. I am a contradiction, flexible in the mind yet rigid when it comes to passion, simple yet complex.

That me in a nutshell.

The path we choose

There is something magical about this picture of a child stand looking out in the ocean alone with no one in sight.

Depending on what and how you look at this it can provoke emotion out of you. You can see this, as being quiet calm escaping from the busy world. Others may see this as being alone in an empty world. The truth is they are both right. For those who are escaping this world with problem and issues, this is an escape. Other who are feeling unloved or unconnected to this world see things as lonely, carrying this burden of ones’ problem by one’s self. No one seems to notice or understand you. But the truth is this is just part of a small picture of this world we are living in. The image does not tell you that there are other people on the beach. Maybe the child-parent is nearby, watching them. Giving them the freedom to explore but still watching over them. When we think about it this way, there is a sense of safety, warmth, and love.

We live in a world where we have the power to create what kind of story we tell ourselves. There are many paths we can take and many stories we can tell ourselves. So why not give ourselves an encouraging story. Why do we choose stories to make us feel sad and depress when we just know a small fraction of the whole picture. Just like this picture, we see only a fraction of the full beach, and we made assumptions about the rest of the image. Why not make empowering assumptions. Why not assume something that gives you hope and peace. Something that will make you a hero of this movie; your movies. You are the author of your life. You cannot change your back story on the fact, but you can change the meaning, the story you tell yourself. Made it dramatic, romantic or comedic as you like, tell yourself the story you want to hear. But please remember no matter what you say to yourself make it positive and amazing. Make it, so you win and give you peace. It is all in your imagination. Be that child inside, making your story a happy story, full of love and joy.